Doing something you enjoy every day and looking after yourself can be good for your mental wellbeing, it was said at the Diversity and Inclusivity Finance Forum (DIFF) executive meeting this month.
This was during a panel session on mental health in the mortgage sector.
Chair Jason Berry, group sales director at Crystal Specialist Finance and co-founder of the Mortgage Industry Mental Health Charter (MIMHC), referred to the MIMHC survey, which showed mental health in the sector had worsened since last year, and said this could lead to burnout.
He asked the panel how to reduce the risk of this happening.
Emma Hollingworth, chief distribution officer at LSL, said having suffered from burnout herself more than once, “you as an individual don’t really know you’re there”.
She said with the rise in hybrid working, it had become difficult to switch off from work and she now schedules a daily walk to take a break.
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Hollingworth added: “It’s really difficult to recognise the signs of burnout for yourself – well, in my experience, it is. Burnout tends to come physically before it comes mentally for me.”
She said people needed to learn to respect themselves, but doing this and looking after oneself oftentimes “comes last”.
Rob Jupp, CEO of the Brightstar Group, said if this happened, the hardest thing to do was to break out of a routine and do something new to improve your wellbeing.
He said while juggling all his other responsibilities in life, “to actually do something for myself is very difficult”.
Jupp said one therapist he saw advised him to do something for himself every day. It was then that he realised he liked alone time, and his therapist told him to make sure to do this the next day.
At first, Jupp “felt guilty”, but said this was now advice he gave to others who may be struggling with their mental health.
He said this ranged from walking his dog to stroking his cat or drinking a coffee.
“Trying to do something for yourself every day, however minor it might be, [is] really cathartic and empowering and just superb,” Jupp added.
He said burnout came when it was least expected and “was like being hit by the fastest train on the planet and surviving it… you don’t function.”
“The challenge is to make sure you look after yourself so you don’t get to those really low lows, because when you do… it takes so much more to get it back,” Jupp added.
Checking in with your team
Gemma Bennett, counsellor, therapist and senior mortgage adviser at The Mortgage Mum, said it was “essential” for people to take accountability for their own development, and access any resources available to them.
“You can educate, but it is also an onus on the person to actually take up the things that are there,” she added.
As for being aware of the wellbeing of your employees, she said when checking in with someone, asking if they are okay was one of the worst questions.
She said people had a tendency to say everything was okay even if it was not, adding that the question was too broad.
Bennett said it was better to ask someone what they need, as the solution could sometimes be something small and simple like a short break.
“Those questions, the way they’re worded, you’re asking people to support themselves. It is on them; find out what they need and try to make sure you can facilitate that as best you can,” she added.
Berry said it could be hard for managers to spot the mask people put on and asked how they could be helped with this.
Hollingworth said this had to come from all levels in a business and “showing a little bit of vulnerability probably helps relax and foster those open conversations”.
She said her firm offered training not only on how to have difficult conversations with people, but also how to listen if someone does reveal they do not feel okay.
“If you’re going to ask a question, make sure you listen to the answers. Sometimes you hear things people aren’t actually saying if you can read between the lines,” Hollingworth added.
Jupp said this was part of the reason why he did not think working from home was suitable for his business, because he was able to look around at his team every day and see “how your people are being affected and performing”.
He said it was easy for people to say everything was fine during a 10-minute Teams or phone call, even if they felt down.
He said changes in mood were easier to spot over a nine-hour day or as the week went on.
“You’ll see if that co-worker needs support and help just by observing them and being in touch,” he added.
Gemma said The Mortgage Mum held regular coffee catch-ups as well as usual meetings to check in with employees, but said the difficulty could be if people dealt with stress by withdrawing.
The firm asks people at the interview stage how they cope with stress to be aware of this and minimise the chance of people slipping through the net.
“That’s where people like myself, I’m there to notice those people and I will tend to reach out to them,” she added.
